A New Beginning...<3

toxic_kisser ADD ME!

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 21:05:26 GMT

Aight this is my last post in this journal...

ADD ME!!!

toxic_kisser

Thats my NEW LJ.

Love,
Alicia

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 20:19:15 GMT

ok... I'm going to make a new LJ I think... I have deleted all the entries since I met Jack... and I'm going to leave it that way... ERASED... This is done with... ill post my new LJ name soon.... but erase this one... I might just delete it.. not sure yet....

bye,
Alicia

Song lyrics i felt like posting so DEAL!

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 20:29:39 GMT

Rumors
by Lindsay Lohan

Saturday, steppin' into the club
Maybe somebody wanna tell the DJ to turn it up
I feel the energy all around
And my body can't stop moving to the sound

But I can tell that you're watching me
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see
Well, I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down when
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life (not the way you want me to)

I'm tired of rumors startin'
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lyin'
Sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

So, here we are back up in the club
People taking pictures
Don't you think they get enough
I just wanna be all over the floor
And throw my hands up in the air to the beat like (what)

I've gotta say respectfully
I would love it if you take the cameras off of me
Cause I just need a little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life (but not the way you want me to)

I'm tired of rumors startin'
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lyin'
Sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

I just need to free my mind (my mind)
Just wanna dance and have a good time (good time)

I'm tired of rumors (rumors)
Followed (followed, followed, followed, followed, followed)
What they want of me
Why can't they (they, they, they, they, they) let me live
Take this for just what it is

I'm tired of rumors startin'
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lyin'
Sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

I'm tired of rumors startin'
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lyin'
Sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

x-mas shopping

Mon, 22 Dec 2003 03:58:42 GMT

well kristine came over today and we hung out for a few hours and i helped her film her spanish project.. lol that was funny. Then me my bro, and Sue went out to the mall to do christmas shopping for my mum and my dad... me and cj bought sumthing for each other in walmart after.. lol we know what we got each other.. lol he was so funny in the store lol... it was to the point where i was crying cuz i was laughing so hard.. that kid is funny LIKE WHOA..lol... good times lol good times... I have one major prob though... I CANT FIND KRISTINES PRESENT!!! AHHH lol thats a huge prob.. that was sum big money.... grrrr.. lol ill find it soon.. (wow look how responcible i am lol) only 2 more days of school left.. whoop whoop! lol its late so im out peace!! lol
p.s.... me and kristine talked to rihana and i think we got the whole cutting thing under control.. im thankful.. and if we didnt... then ill try harder.... with all my friends...

yay what a fun day

Sun, 21 Dec 2003 01:32:01 GMT

well my day was awesome till tonight.... i mean last night i went to the mall with Kristine and talked to balcom, jon, and josh...(which yes... made me happy) then today i went shopping with my mom and visited my cousins, then i come home to... OH YEAH BY THE WAY ALICIA, ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS CUTTING HERSELF! WTF... this is what? number SEVEN! oh yay.. how fun... way to go people..... apparently my friendship means nothing if your willing to throw away everything i've done and scarificed for ALL OF YOU!!! Why do people have to be selfish and want to throw their lives away? I dont get it, why are seven of my friends trying to throw away their lives when some people, like my grandma, who struggled for 5 fucking years trying to beat cancer... but it won... she wanted to live, but look how selfish that is to throw away something that means so much to people who want it, but cant have it.... i'd love to know why your all doing it.. give me ONE.. just ONE good reason why.... look around at all the people who love you and care about you... dosen't that mean anything?

wow

Thu, 18 Dec 2003 00:38:12 GMT

Last night the tree fell for the FOURTH time lol ugh yes this is the fourth time we have decorated the christmas tree this year! WOOP WOOP ugh.. what a pain!.. the tree is like split up the middle lol... Kristine was absent for 3 days this week... AHHH... and Kazumi was out sick too... NOT COOL!! NOT COOL AT ALL! School was BORING. I saw Balcom twice today and both times we said hi to each other... oh the progress we're making lol. WOW i like him a lot... hmm i got SO MUCH DAMN HOMEWORK AND IT SUCKS LIKE WHOA!! UGH well i have to take a shower and then do more of my 20 pages of homework... and thats no exaggeration.. theres seriously more then 20 pages... like 21...lol and kristine is doing to well... shes really upset and it sucks to see her like this... im trying to help but idk so im out ttyl buh byez

sorry bout this bad habit of NOT updating

Tue, 16 Dec 2003 00:35:45 GMT

i've been bsy lol sorry... anyways, Friday i went to a KICK ASS party lol.. OMG it was wicked fun... I wanted to go to another one on saturday but the girl said that she invited too many people...idk w/e.. i ended up babysitting these 4 kids.. ugh that sucked SOOOO bad... I got 40 bucks tho.. i guess that was aight? idk w/e... I HAVE A HUGE PROB THO.... I LIKE RYAN BALCOM.... but im not sure if i have a chance with him or not... THIS SUCKS... he's WICKED funny (like me), he's really nice and to top it all off, he's hot as hell.. All of my friends think i should go for it, and a few of his friends do too... i just dont wanna get hurt again. That would suck so bad... seriously. But a lot of people say i should give it a try cuz he might like me?!? who knows? You guys are so damn confusing.. ha. Kristine likes my choice in Balcom cause im always happy when i talk to him, or see him. He IS an AWESOME guy though... I would love to kno why he's single lol. Some people have said that he knows i like him... i dont care.. i just want him 2 like me 2! ahhh grr.. im confused... im out i gotta do homework.

test..

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 20:34:38 GMT

oh looky here... anyone interested?

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A GARAGE-GURL. Youre into loud music, hot guys and
wild fashions. Youre most at ease when youve
got all your mates around you and you like to
party. Boys are a game and youre always on the
ball because you make sure youre always number
one.
Your virtues: Confidence, fun nature, sociability.
Your flaws: Loudness, jealous tendency, need for
attention.

What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

whoa

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 19:41:13 GMT

yeap my plan was messed up....he ended up dropping off 2 other people... i wasn't talking at all.... aw well he's gunna drive me home sum other time since we're like 5 minutes away from each other... im just pissed cause i was all ready to do it and then people came i was upset... ugh.. and all that stressing all day for no damn reason... DAMIT.... ugh aw well... I WILL TELL HIM... just need another chance.. this sucks like whoa.. ugh.. im out later

sucky life lately

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 00:39:07 GMT

welp i found out on saturday that Cory.... yeap.. him and Janelle "kinda have a thing going on right now" so i guess everything he said wasn't true?..... and man he told me stuff that made him seem like he was soooo into me.... i don't get it... this sucks so bad... Today i asked him if he was still gunna drive me home from school tomorrow and he said yeah.. then asked if something was wrong....i said no... but theres DEFINATLY A WHOLE LOT WRONG!I just cant tell him...How much it does hurt.. ugh but hes giving me a ride home, ima tell him how i feel and shit... not like its gonna mean a thing 2 him but hey.. i tried at least.... right? GRRR "love" sucks..i hate this.... Kristine is trying to hook me up with Balcom.. YEAH rightttt.... no chance there... whatever im out life sucks more and more everyday

half day

Fri, 05 Dec 2003 02:13:50 GMT

Hey... sorry about not updating for a while.. i've been busy. Well the beginning of the week was awesome... till today... I was talking to Janelle and she said that she had something to tell me but i'd be crushed... Great! Just Great! woo hoo, someone can shoot me now cuz nothing goes right... I will NEVER have a boyfriend.. nope never oh how fun. You know you gotta like the idea of being single for LIFE! ugh.I'm seriously like in love with this kid (cory)and i hate it.. i have NO chance, so why am i still throwing myself at him... I'm gunna talk to him and tell him how i feel, which i know has a 99.9% chance of NOT going good... OH JOY!... My life sucks once again. And today Kristine was real upset to... I just love it when my best friends are hurt... GRRRR. Well the only good part of the day was when Me, Kristine, and Josh went 2 Deli King for breakfast. mmmhmm.. thats it.. oh and here's something from the man himself...
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: soo umm how bout them backstreet boyzzzzz
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: they kick ace
JoDaddyPuffCake: :-D
JoDaddyPuffCake: yeah they do
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: cuz josh....
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: i want it that way
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: hahaha
JoDaddyPuffCake: lol
JoDaddyPuffCake: but we
JoDaddyPuffCake: are 2 worlds apart
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: lol
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: can't reach to your heart?
JoDaddyPuffCake: cuz i want a fat babe
BuBbLe5 2 9 4: lol
JoDaddyPuffCake: biggy fries!
JoDaddyPuffCake: every steps like an earthquake
JoDaddyPuffCake: super size!
lol wow... ha...im out...

mommies b-day

Sat, 22 Nov 2003 03:26:48 GMT

today was my mums b-day.. like everyone of my friends told me to say happy b-day 2 her lol ur all so cute.. he he. umm we ordered pizza and had some cake... then i went 2 walgreens to get her a b-day gift.. i got there and realized that my money fell out of my pocket, so me and suzie went looking everywhere for it, then headed back home where i found it in the driveway... BLONDE MOMENT! lol so then we went back and saw my babe again.. and paid for the "facial" thingy .. she loved it.. im so awesome..lol then i came back and talked 2 Kristine.. we were ditched by the group 2night.. so tomorrow we be ditchin them.. lol whatever.. Cj.. omg Cj.. lol he came home on crutches today... he spells dumbass..j/p lol but wow man u blonde... he completly screwed up his ankle playing basketball, he went up for the rebound and like rolled his ankle... its wicked swollen and hes in a lot of pain so we're taking him 2 the emergency room for X-rays tomorrow..lol welp that concludes my fun-filled day lol i am tired as hell though.. ugh EXAUSTED byez

today.. just another day

Fri, 21 Nov 2003 03:08:39 GMT

yurp.. the title pretty much explains itself.. i was a lil better today, i got better in spanish cuz of bob and aaron.. lol ty guys. Tam Tam.. "smile"..lol see it works... anyways the day was goin good till last block.. i was literally like 10 seconds late and she yelled at me... what the hell..ugh.. i hate mrs. papik.. stupid oompa loompa.. ugh! the only other thing wrong is me and cory... cuz we ain't togther yet.. prolly wont be so i suck end of story... and ty to josh... lol basketball isn't everyones strong suit..ha ha "if there was no dribbling in basketball, id be the nastiest playa..id just steal the ball and run up wicked close and shoot"... nice.. just my style... lol anyways im exausted so im headin out..

REALLY bad day

Wed, 19 Nov 2003 20:46:44 GMT

yay! today was sooo horrible. First i went to dougalls and we have to do this stupid essay and im completly lost on what im doing.. i have no idea whats goin on... that got me mad. Then i went to spanish and since i was upset i started thinking bout everything that has gone on lately( My grandma dying, Kristine, and Rihana being upset, everything Cory is going through, Rachel, and me) Everything hit me and i felt so upset. Then i went to luch... Kristine asked me what was wrong and i said i would talk to her bout it later and she got upset... which kinda topped everything off and i collapsed.. i went to spanish and started crying when i went in the room so i had to leave and go down guidance... it was awefull... i miss my grandmother so much, and im so tramatized by the way she left me.. i can't take life anymore.. things are starting to get to me and people are noticing. Im so upset.. you dont even know how much im hurting right now. Then i came home and talked to Kristine... everything is better with her... and im sorry for not saying anything.. that was my fault entirely.. i just didn't wanna cry in front of like everyone... lol but i guess i didnt end up avoiding that.. but i luv ya... im out for now.. gotta unwind

mmmhmm

Tue, 18 Nov 2003 02:25:32 GMT

First of all ima start out with Xtina... Gurl don't worry bout anything... when u need someone just turn around and i'll always be here.. right by ur side.. BFFL! Its a longggg story, but i love ya Kristine! MUAH! umm.. which brings me 2 my next point bout Cory.. yeap.. AGAIN.. i have an upset stomach cuz tomorrow ima tell him how i feel bout him... in person.. i dont think i even wanna know what his reaction is, i really don't. I think it's gunna be bad then im gunna be crushed... You all don't even understand how many feelings i have for him.. they're STRONG feelings too.. I wish i didn't have them, I don't want to be hurt again. I guess i'll find out tomorrow if i should shoot myself in the face or not ( not that i'd really do that but u get the point) if shit gets bad then i guess its the forever widening hole of depression that i'll be digging myself into deeper and deeper... oh joy!ugh.. i hate this.. my feelings for him are too strong.. someone just slap me please.. get him off my mind.. i know what he's gotta say isn't gunna be what i wanna hear.. but wish me luck anyways... ima need lots of it.. when i mean lots.. i mean LOTS..im not even kidding. i wanna hope god won't crush me again and maybe i'll have a CHANCE with Cory.. PLEASE!!! im soo sick of being alone all the time, and out of all the pathetic little "crushes" i've had.. this is the umm "worst"? I just want him 2 like me and want me as a girlfriend.. why can't i have that? He's always nice 2 me.. wicked caring.. passionate, affectionate, loving, funny, lovable..and the list goes on FOREVER!.. if i could only get the right words to describe my feelings for him.. then maybe he'd like me and want me more.. ugh.. i hate life

howdy...

Mon, 17 Nov 2003 02:58:37 GMT

watz up homies? lol im such a geek... Today i was in one of those.. im extremly ugly phases.. ugh.. i hate those.. it was better when i went 2 walgreens cuz i saw Cory.. yeap him AGAIN lol.. he was walking out when me and my mum were walking in and i covered my eyes and pretended not to see him.. he was like thats really offensive.. i just laughed and walked away.. then i saw him down one of the isles.. i called him a dork.. and he said something like ok im a geek so i guess ill leave, to my mom.. lol. THEn i saw him up at the register, lol he said his stomach hurt cuz he ate too much chinese food.. lol he's too funny.. ha.. I like that kid so much... just ask Kristine.. lol i talk bout him way too much lol... thank you for dealing with all my odd situations and still luving me for it Xtina.. lol MUAH!

he he

Sun, 16 Nov 2003 04:44:55 GMT

i liked today lol.. we went to walgreens.. yeap.. ,my babe works there.. he he i saw him talking to someone in the isle.. and i was like hey he goes "what the f.." and stopped he goes get over here.. come here.. whatchya buying? i was like a clock and sum candy hes like aw cool.. then i was looking at christmas stuff and he came up behind me and touched my hair and scared the shit outta me ..lol REAL CUTE ..lol then i was over in the first aid stuff looking at things for my hideous elbow and he walked up the isle and TOUCHED MY HIP.. ahhh he he he.. it felt like a shock of warmth ran through my body.. hes like " boo i got ya" then walked in the back room lol.. i love him.. lol muah! after he did that i had the STUPIDEST grin on my face.. lol im such a dork.... im still scared that i think he likes me.. but im afraid im gunna get hurt.. i really am.. IT SUCK cause i like this kid soo much.. ugh we shall she if something FINALLY goes my way... oh yeah before i head out.. my elbow is worse.. and it hurts like freaking hell.. its more swollen and i might have 2 go get it checked out at the doctors.. idk yet.. but ouch its like a throbbing / shooting pain.. ugh.. well its late and im HOME ALONE cause the rents whent out partying lol.. welp im heading up 2 bed after a VERY fun day.. buh byez.. MUAH!

ouch!

Thu, 13 Nov 2003 20:03:19 GMT

yeap thats how i feel today EVERYTHING hurts from my little bike accident yesterday... the best of the day was when the substitute in Spainsh wouldn't let me go to the nurse... FUN! my friggen elbow feels broken lol.. im falling apart as usual.... but it seriously hurt a lot.. and it's still swollen.. ugh.. so fun! I got brusies all over .. a big one on my lower hip.. my knee, shoulder.. lower thiegh.. and the list goes on.. ha ha..I didn't see Cory too much today.. DAMN! lol I like him so much and now i think i'll NEVER have him... SINGLE FOREVER!... I wish he knew how much I actually cared... I hate anyone that treats him badly.. HINT HINT!! I wish i could make him see how much i like him... there's no way to show it though... so how will he know? ugh.. this is what sucks..he says he likes me.. but he dosen't know what he wants...im standing right in front of you.. all yours.. just take me! It's hard to read guys.. i don't get the way they think.. BUT I am absolutly CRAZY bout him... he's always on my mind in between classes.. till i see him..and at home its even worse! and if there's something i wanted to talk to him about.. i completly forget when i see him. lol.It's like he takes away all the worries i have when i see him.. he's awesome.. he's the only person, that when i talk to him i get butterflies... i've NEVER done that.. NEVER.. The more i see him.. the more i want him...But It seems like I can't have him... I can't have anyone! AHHH. GRR. well im out.. my arm is killing me.. I LOVE CORY(duh)

what a day

Thu, 13 Nov 2003 03:04:25 GMT

1st.. i felt sick cause i haven't taken my meds in 2 days (don't worry.. i took them 2night)
2nd.. I burnt my ear on my straightening iron.. yeap thats me.. the dumb blonde ( whos got some straight hair.. ha ha...)tammy says my ear looked sexy all straight.. but sorry hun.. i ain't doin that again.. lol
3rd... Cory likes me.. but he's not sure what he wants... so someone PLEASE shoot me in the face right now... THANK YOU ( I LOVE CORY.. AHHH)
ok 4th.. the chain fell off my bike and i went right to the ground.. landed on my elbow... yeap.. i gotta big bump there and a good-sized cut.. woo hoo! im battin a million today!
something else to ruin my life even more will happen after i log off this entry.. just watch! UGH! GROSS..
well yesterday i hung out with Kristine and Rihana ( after doing the firm.. which my stomach muscles STILL hurt from today!) and we watched superstar!!. lol " and when i say ooga booga.. you better ooga booga", " what's ooga booga mean?", " I'dont know, but if i say it.. ya better fuckin figure it out!" lol best part!.. then we started making up a dance 2 this song.. if we ever get it done.. you'll prolley see us do it at the dance... And Cory.. if you read this.. well I love ya.. alot.. muah! lol im lame.. that nver works.. but i do love ya... ( whoa ima stop talking before i say something REALLY STUPID!) well im out.. buh byez..

HELP ME

Mon, 10 Nov 2003 01:40:30 GMT

this is gunna sound REALLY strange.... ha ha but I like Cory WAYYY too much. If he dosen't wanna go out with me i'm gunna be crushed. I'm SO alone.. ugh it sucks..He's the only guy that has treated me SOO nice, I can't believe how nice he is to me. I just don't think he likes me that way.. which SUCKS!!! He seems like he deserves someone who's PERFECT cause he's so awesome.. I can't think of anything that makes me not like him.. NOTHING.. Why is it that i always like the guys i CAN'T have? it SUCKS.. well if I was lucky enough to go out with him.. I know he would treat me like a queen and i would be the happiest/ luckiest girl alive.... Cory if you read this.. YOUR THE BEST..LUV YA!!! muah!...

good day

Sat, 08 Nov 2003 02:11:48 GMT

today was a good day.. Cory.. said i was a sweet heart.. hehe, we had a veterans day assembly, i was all hyper and dancing to music all day, i CAN'T wait for the dance in a week.. EEKK!!We went out to eat cause my grand-daddy is leaving for Florida tomorrow.. not fun but hey we had a good time up here.. umm Kristine has States tomorrow... GOOD LUCK GURLIE!!! MUAH!#1... lol afta that we're goin 2 the mall to find cute outfits for the dance... hehe we gunna be sexi mamas!! woo! lol welp im out for now.. byez

sorry bout the NOT updating mode

Fri, 07 Nov 2003 03:06:54 GMT

ok heres all the news bout the past few weeks...
1. I got in ANOTHER fight with my mom bout online
2. went to see a NEW psycologist her name is Tara
3. This Tuesday i went to see her and i broke down crying about my grandma Hall dying.
4.Rachel's Grandfather died.. im soo sorry Rach.. if u need anything im here for ya....
5. Keith is talking to me again.. i guess he was never mad in the first place.
6.Today i went to go see" Scary Movie 3" It was pretty good
7. I like Cory.. hehehe
8. I got in another fight with my mom bout the comp cause shes being gay
9. i almost threw up when i was in the shower
10. I have been sick a lot lately
11. im wicked tired
12. it was my dads b-day Monday
lol thats it.. pretty much.. hmm.. i would love it if i went out w/ Cory.. my first offically b/f.. almost pathetic when you think bout it... but i like him a lot.. who knows.. maybe he'll ask me out!?!?! he he.. anyways.. i wanted to say HI LAUREN!!! hehehehe... umm well i have to finish 2 essays for Mr. Macdougall and then get some friggen sleep.. buh byez

stuck

Sun, 26 Oct 2003 13:44:24 GMT

here i am.. stuck at home ...alone. So what do i have to do? Go online right? WRONG. I have a time limit on AOL.. I can only go on for 4 hours today, then 2 hours each day for the rest of the week...my mom put a fucking time limit on my screenname so if i go past the hours i get signed off.. oh yeah and even better, she can see what e-mails i read, every screenname on my buddylist, how many ims i recieve from people not on.. or on my buddylist, and the websights i go to.. WOW look how fucking trusted I am huh.. This is so fucking gay.. the one way that I talk to most people is online.. but they put a time limit so i can only stay on for a certain amount of time each day.. and they don't want me on the fucking phone.. wtf am i supposed to do.. be fucking antisocial the rest of my life!!???!! THIS IS SOOOO FUCKING GAY I CAN'T STAND THAT MY MOM DOSEN'T FUCKING TRUST ME AND THAT SHE WON'T LET ME FUCKING TALK TO MY FRIENDS.. FUCK THIS !!!!!!!

happy half day

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 16:37:26 GMT

today was a very good day lol. The kid i like is talking to me again (that's a major plus, it was a half day in school, I had a fun day, lol and it was snowing. The bad things that have happened SO FAR are that im cold as hell, and Kristine is having a little trouble with the kid she likes..... That's not cool. I'm still trying to figure out if i want to go to the Harvest Ball, or the Tec dance. I want to go to ours cuz the kid i like is going, but I was gunna wait to see if one of my friends go her umm friend to ask her to the dance. I know ????? would probably never ask me, but Kristine thinks i should to talk him and see what he says. I don't know.. I bet he would say no anyways. I'm gunna talk to her somethime today and then MAYBE talk to him... Not sure yet. I'm also tired as hell lol. so im out

yeah

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 19:13:06 GMT

I HATE the way people are treating my friend Cory..im so sick of how everyone judges him and treats him like shit.. ya know what? He's one of the NICEST guys I have ever met, You can't judge him before you even know him... Seriously, If you judge him by listening to what other people say then it's your loss... you will be missing out on a great friendship with an awesome person.. and if you talk about him negitivly around me im gunna tell you the truth.. and if you don't like it tough! He IS a wicked sweetheart.. too bad if you don't wanna believe it but it's true then that's your problem!
Im out..p.s. lets try not to talk bout people behind their backs.. ok?